Should COVID-19 Interrupt Your Parenting Plan?

1.    Stay calm. Little ones need to be assured that they are physically safe and emotionally supported at all times. 

2.    Inform your children that they are safe. If your children ask hard questions about COVID-19, tell them that the virus is for parents to worry about and that they are not in harm’s way because both parents are keeping them safe. Make sure to keep the communication open so they don’t feel emotionally shut down. Do not reprimand the other parent to the children or in front of the children.

3.    Find an outlet for yourself. In order to prevent pushing your fear or your concerns surrounding COVID-19 onto children, find an outlet that helps you stay positive. Whether it is walking, stretching, journaling, or phoning a friend, check in with yourself and routinely meet your needs so you can continue to support your children’s needs.

4.    Communicate with the other parent. Unless your case involves a court-ordered order of protection that prohibits you from contacting the other parent, call the other parent to discuss a game plan. The goal should be to figure out what each parent’s expectations are during this time. If both parents do not agree to temporarily stop visitation due to COVID-19, then consider how the children can continue seeing both parents safely and routinely, without interruption. Things to consider are:

a) Whether the other parent expects the children to remain with the primary residential parent or remain inside. You cannot unilaterally change the parenting plan. Both parties must agree in writing;

b) Whether there are extenuating circumstances that can be proven which cause concern for the children visiting the other parent’s home or exercising a visit in a public place (i.e., elderly in the home the children will visit, verified sickness, or verified contamination);

c) Whether you are taking sanitary precautions before and after parenting exchanges. It will be helpful to the children if both parents are taking the same precautions in order to normalize the situation for the children; and

d) Whether you have very clearly communicated your concerns AND the other parent understands your concerns. You can not assume that the other parent automatically waives visitation because of COVID-19. Regardless of what you intend to do, you should communicate that intent to the other parent to prevent miscommunication and unnecessary stress. The other parent may not agree with you, and vice versa, and that is ok.

Remember, only you and the other parent can decide what is best for your family. Depending on the facts and circumstances surrounding your parenting plan, flexibility in temporarily amending the parenting plan may or may not be necessary. Any amendments should be in writing. 

This blog post is not legal advice and specific legal advice varies on a case by case basis. Contact a family law attorney for help.